Today's Sunrise- Blinded by the Light in Malibu

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. …Marianne Williamson
6:23 Starbucks Cross Creek.
A beautiful day. Sun shines bright. Coffee’s good. Leaf blower blows very few leaves around the parking lot. OK, come within. To the peaceful place. Watched the sun light up the mountain from PCH. Took it in fully as it revealed itself too bright to gaze upon directly for long. Our good old sun. One of millions in our galaxy, just one of billions in the Universe. Our source of light and our source of life.
Been transcribing the morning pages from the time of Mom’s transition. Found the brief Thank You Mom litany there. Going to post it with the magnificent sunrise from May 4, the day Mom died. The one that called her so peacefully to the other side of the veil.
OK so what’s the answer? Do I contact John deLancie about the movie -and how? That Q again. Am I to just wake up one morning and let that one go? Is that the next step in consciousness for me? I suspect not. THINK I may have all the call from God I’m ever gonna get. Now it’s up to me to ground this dream. To face the truth whatever that is – face the NO, face the YES. Grant myself a YES either way, a both/and. How how how?
Oh how I hear the answer given to me so long ago. That I may only have what I really really really want when I no longer want it. When I release the desire….sigh.
Hm, free floating joy floats on over me. I am so grateful, so very thankful, for this conundrum, this predicament, this Q to wrestle to the ground. This sense that no matter how stupid it sounds, what an idiot I may be for THINKING these thoughts, this is exactly what I am meant to be, where I am meant to be it. Right here, right now: ¾ cuppa coffee, money slipping away, having so recently released a dearly beloved and beautiful Mom…wondering for the thousandth time what to do about John deLancie. As if there’s really anything I could ever DO about a John deLancie or whatever dreams I may conjure up. Except honor that it is just that – MY dream. My pull to destiny, the path I am to follow while puttering around on this side of the veil.